Wednesday, June 15, 2011

Slang is a language that rolls up its sleeves, spits on its hands and goes to work. - Carl Sandburg

Life in general has brought about some daily terminology I love to use. It simply spices up my vocabulary while simultaneously mocking seriousness, poking fun at the English language, and disintegrating the value of my cum laude college education. Without further ado, I bring you words I love to use and CHEERS to you if you begin utilizing these in your daily jargon as well :) :

1. "Kim Kardashian" - (noun) your ass, derriere, butt

(i.e., "Girllll, that dress is so tight your Kim Kardashian's showing.")

This word was brought about because Kim always wears those skin-tight Herve Leger type dresses that draw all eyes toward her tush. This may also be interchangeable with "Pippa Middleton," who is the new world renowned bearer of an awesome badonkadonk.

2. "Vanessa Hudgens" - (noun) your vagina, va-jay-jay, nether region.

(i.e., "This dress is so short, I fear my Vanessa Hudgens is showing." 


"We're going to the beach tomorrow, make sure you shave your Hudgens.")

This was brought about due to this shocking-at-the-time-because-of-High-School-Musical (underage) nude photos of Vanessa that were blasted onto the internet showcasing her full bush and inappropriate poses.

3. "S & G" - (adjective) sexy and gorgeous

(i.e., "Suri Cruise's pumps are so S & G"


"Your vintage dress is so S & G")

This came about due to my best friend Cara and I discussing how lucky Shiloh Jolie-Pitt, who was gracing the cover of a tabloid, is to have the DNA of the most beautiful people on the planet and that she already is sporting the famous Jolie lips. And even though these days her get-ups make her look far more Ellen Degeneres than a Jolie-Pitt, her genetic makeup has her pegged as S&G for life. 

4. "Beyonce weave"- (noun) hair extensions or fake hair

(i.e., 'Your hair is SO long, is it real?' 'No way, girlfriend. I'm rockin' my Beyonce weave.')

I came up with this due to the excessive abuse of weaves, hair extensions, and wigs by Mrs. Jay-Z, though she's a fly bitch. I rock clip-on extensions sometimes out of pure boredom and like to think of them as my ode to B.

5. "super" - (adjective) an exaggeration of the word "very"

(i.e., "Guys with beards and plaid pants are super freaking cute. Zach Galifianakis, do me!" 


(As I watch a kid sticking his fingers near an electrical outlet while the parents are completely aloof) "Some people are super annoying. It should be illegal that they procreate." )

6. "bitch" - (noun) friend, fierce female and/or kick-ass woman

(i.e., "Talk to you later, bitch" or "Cheers, bitches!")

My "bitch" Cara and I began using this term after hearing Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie refer to each other as "bitch" during the first season of The Simple Life. Much to the utter disgust of others in earshot, we continue to use it to this day.

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